East Africa needs your help

A terrible, terrible famine is killing thousands and could kill millions in East Africa. 

Please help.  They are, after all, our brothers and sisters.

http://www.unicef.org.au/Donate.aspx

If you always do what you've always done....

Do you know that one?  If you always do what you've always done, you'll always have what you've always had.  What do you think?  What if what you've been doing is your best, and you don't quite know how you could have done differently, and you certainly don't know how to do different now? 


Well, sitting at work at nearly 7pm on a Friday isn't going to give a girl a good time, is it?  Got in horribly late, as has been the case all week. Except for when I wasn't here. Which was quite a bit, as it happened.  So, it's good to be here when it's very, very still and oh, so quiet... as Bjork would whisper.   I bet Bjork isn't sitting at work finishing stuff off. No. She'd be out at a party, or a new groovy bar, being interesting and arty and intriguing. 


Where was I?  Oh yeah, finishing stuff off.  Got something off my plate partly - at least signs of progress conveyed, some conundrums resolved, and clearly flagged for myself where I need to consult with others to get things sorted.  Finance, for example. What do I know about that? Not much. So I'll ask the Finance people to make some decisions.  I know I'm always saying I have to do everything myself, but I'm not gonna, you hear me?


Decided to role play beautiful, poised, accomplished woman today.  I managed it for the 10 minute trip from the doctor's to the pharmacy and back to work.  There are going to be different components to this role play.  B, P and A will be the core elements.  I always want to be them.  However, sometimes, I will add a handsome, rich and kind husband with intelligence, wit, a fabulous sense of fun and play (and mega-doses of integrity).  I think that may come in handy.  However, I'm sad to say, that component has not resulted in being picked up in a BMW tonight after work, so I must slog home through the dark and cold, where FH (fabulous husband) component will not have cooked me a beautiful imaginary, tasty and vegan meal. No.  So I'll try to role play BPA cooks own dinner on Friday night - partly because she's eaten out at least two nights this week.  BPA may just eat toast tonight.  Coz she's all busy and socialising like.  She might be, but I'm not.  Which is where we started, right? 


How do you do things differently? 

A sloooooow Monday

Exhausted today, so spent most of the day in bed asleep.  Work? Oh, yes.  Not today thank you.  Some unpleasantness on Friday, which seemed to portend badly.  At least I think I could get a job at my nearest chocolate shop... apparently after 2 years you stop wanting to devour the chocolate.  I'd have to go to the gym twice a day if I did that. Anyway, it seems talk of our demise was exaggerated.  But it sure got me thinking and not all of it was nice!

Watching Pride and Prejudice again.  How many times can it be viewed consecutively and it not become habit-forming, I wonder?  Have I asked that before?  Is that bad blogging, to not know what you've asked/said before?  Probably, but never mind.  We are practising self-kindness here at RTW.  It may or may not be kind to be 2/3 of the way through a 200g block of Cadbury's Fair Trade. That's the non-vegan bit in my diet that I'm struggling to shake.  Anyway. I think it may be time to stop as I feel sick!

I wanted to share this quilt with you... isn't it fab?  Nichola has posted it on her blog, and I want one!  Have I mentioned I was born in England?  Though I've been here many years now, England will always feel like home.  I dare say if I moved back there it would feel strange for a while and I'd miss Australia, so I suppose I'm in the happy position of having two homes!   My feelings are sentimental and nostalgic, but I know there's a sense of belonging that I will probably never have here in my adopted land.  So, it's probably time to show it on my bed, yeah?   Imagine doing this in Liberty prints?  I do like the faded Union Jack on the RHS, second from the top - you'd have to put one of those in somehow. 

photo from The Aftercraft via Nikkishell

I've only made one quilt so far - a strip quilt with a rather unfortunate ruffle around the outside that I keep meaning to take off.  I have also bought Alicia's Ollalieberry Icecream quilt pattern, and I even have the batting/wadding for it.  But I haven't yet assembled fabrics I already have (which would be a nice basis for the quilt), and couldn't see nice quilt fabrics at Spotlight a while back when they had a sale.  I really need to get to GJs on Sydney Road... Boy, do they have quilt fabrics.  One day!

Ok, just a couple more pieces of chocolate, thank you!

Good night, and I hope you are all well.
J x

Sunday, after nine o'clock. A winter's night.

A semi-productive day here.  Am reclining with a mug of mulled wine (well, according to the book. gluhwein, but is there a difference?).  Pretty delicious once you get into it.  A bottle of red wine (a cab sav merlot cleanskin), a cinnamon stick, four cloves, a sliced orange, 1.5 sliced lemons, and 1/4 of a cup of caster sugar. Cook for 20 min on a medium heat - do not boil.  Let it sit for 3 hours for the flavours to blend, then strain, warm in a saucepan, then drink.  I could get used to this.  A great flavour combination, though I'd be interested to try a few different recipes.  The alternative in the book I used required 250ml of Brandy.

On the cooking front, another batch of Andrew's chickpea and vegetable curry, and a heap of roasted root vegies with balsamic vinegar and kecap manis.  That takes the pressure off cooking for the first few lunches and dinners of the week, as well as saving money on lunches.  Not that there's much I want to eat around work now that I don't eat meat. There are only so many times I can stand tofu and rice, and sometimes (OK, lots of times) I'm too lazy, lazy, lazy to walk up to my favourite nearby vegan cafe.  As well, tonight I mopped the floors, did a load of washing and hung it out, washed the dishes.... quite the domestica when I wasn't sleeping half the day.  I had hoped to bake a chocolate pecan self-saucing pudding, but ran out of time and motivation.  Yes, it's an exciting blog, isn't it?!

My last chore is to go out and get a neighbour's cat's heat pad and reheat it for the night.  It's cold here at the moment, so I bought him a microwave heat pad. Not sure he's using it, but just in case.  Hopefully when my neighbour comes home, she'll keep using it if she doesn't let him in at night.  He's a stray she's taken on, which is great.

Well, here ends my prosaic "dear diary" for the day.  A final question:  what is the name for a bellringer? 

This is not the post that was...

... meant to be here.  What did I do?  Or not do?  Even blogger is beyond me at 12.39 am, and won't I be grumpy tomorrow? Too late to write it again, and who could recapture its glories?  Ha!

So instead, a picture of the darling three.  Soon to be pin-ups in the 2012 calendar for Ingrid's Haven for Abandoned Cats, whence they hail.  They are now at least three times this size!

Long time no see

Two months.  Where have I been?  Not to San Jose, that's for sure.
Things are tough.  I won't talk about that here at the moment.  I'm tired, struggling, and looking for a way through.

Some words have helped.   

* Don't let fear drive out love.  I woke up with that in my mind and on my lips  one morning last week.  I know this verse, in part at least: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  I John 4:18.  But the way it was expressed in my sleeping and waking speaks to me in the current situation.

* I have started reading, again, Henri Nouwen's 'Turn My Mourning into Dancing'.  I read a sentence last night that spoke to me, when Henri talks about the Beatitudes, and blessed are those who mourn.  Henri writes that mourning is facing the pain in the presence of someone who heals (paraphrased).

And here, something beautiful, and tasty.  A recent discovery - yummy pizza without cheese. I've never liked pizza because I don't like melted cheese.  Really dislike it,.  Makes me sick.  Now I'm almost vegan in my diet, this is a revelation.  It's also great comfort food.

It's called The Fuss.  Name was a joint effort - me and one of the pizza guys. 

Ingredients:  tomato paste, garlic (lots), rosemary, pumpkin, potato, mushroom, rocket on top when it comes out of the oven.  This pic is sans rocket. We nearly forgot it.

Though the pizza guys object to pizza without cheese, they think the name is so good, it may just go on the next print of the menu.  For now, it's scribbled on a piece of paper and stuck to the side of the coffee machine. In pizza terms, I've nearly made it.

Sweet autumn

It's a glorious day here today.  A balmy 22 or 23 deg c.  The last of autumn, much welcome after the grey and rainy days last week.

Well, as usual at the moment, I'm exhausted.  Dragged myself in to work, though I'd much rather have spent the day napping, sleeping and napping some more.

The weekend, though tiring, was lovely.  Friday night - karaoke, where I had an absolute ball.  The repertoire was varied - Def Leppard, Neil Young, some dance stuff I don't know but enjoyed, Celine Dion (the Titanic theme - done with aplomb by V's friend S), Linda Ronstadt.  It was great, a real laugh, and everything got better (and funnier) the more we drank.  The Japanese know how to have a good time.  Much funnier than my experience of karaoke in Japan, strangely. It's all about the company you keep.

Saturday was a day for much sleeping, interspersed with a great afternoon with some neighbours at a BBQ.   I was the youngest there (apart from the dogs, if counted in human and not dog years...).  My neighbours have all lived interesting lives, and have great senses of humour.  I hope I'm as healthy and happy as them when I get to their age.  I had to sleep when I got home!

Sunday was another lovely day - spent at Healesville Sanctuary with my Uncle, Aunt and beautiful young Cousin K, visiting from England. I haven't seen them for 13 years, and the rest of my family haven't seen them for 31 years. Unfortunately, because of various health issues, my parents aren't able to spend much time with our visitors, and this is sad for everyone. I'm trying to step into the breach, and I must say, after some trepidation (based on shyness, I think!), I'm really enjoying their company.  They have great senses of humour, a very gentle and decent approach to life, and are just pleased that we can spend some time together.  I feel bad that I haven't arranged a heap of things for them to do, but hope to redeem the last week or so (when they get back from a side trip interstate that I managed to persuade them to take - you can't come to Australia and not see Sydney!) if I can.  That might be a feat, as lots of things close over Easter. But I'll start searching for things that are open.

So, I'll leave you with some pictures of beautiful creatures at the Sanctuary. I have mixed feelings about zoos which I won't go into here.  But I can say the Sanctuary is lovely and peaceful, the enclosures seem to be as close to the natural habitat of the animals as possible.  It's changed a lot since I visited as a new arrival here 30 years ago.  I'd recommend a trip, especially with children old enough to enjoy it.  I was feeling anxious when I started writing, but thinking through the weekend to write this post has been calming.

Shalom.

Napping on rainy days

Not what you'd call a day of achievement here at RTW.  Most of the day spent napping in bed, dipping into the Saturday paper, and catching up with the kittens.  I needed rest and quiet after a difficult couple of weeks, including being sick, but I think staying in bed 'til 5pm is taking it a bit far.  Ended up feeling anxious and fending off negative thoughts - you know, just the usual, 'why aren't I..', 'why did they...', 'when will I...', 'I should...', covering a whole range of topics.  Not useful.  But I grasped anew what psychologists say about thinking and feeling: thoughts create feelings, feelings lead to behaviour.  The negative thoughts began swirling, and I started to feel unhappy.  Rationally, nothing about my siutation had changed, other than how I thought (and so felt) about it.  In trying to find a link to this (though I know it's pretty basic), I came across a link to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  It's very good.  Something I should put into practice, as I've read quite a bit about it, including The Happiness Trap, by Dr Russ Harris.  Russ has a website, http://www.actmindfully.com/.  I recommend his work.  Time I put some effort into practising!

So, takeaway for dinner, and a night of TV.  I'm watching Durham County at the moment, series one.  It's a creepy show, very well done.  Have you seen it?  The casting is excellent, the performances bring characters to life.  The lead is a very flawed good guy.  His nemesis, a very nasty piece of work.  The cinematography and locations are just right - an unfinished house, beside ominous power lines, betrayal, deceit, manipulation.  It's all there.  A Canadian production - I had thought it was set in Los Angeles.  Spooky and superb.

I have two kittens beside me on the couch - the two boys seem to like curling up together.  Now they do napping during the day very well!

I'm still working my way through A Life At Work. In the meantime, I'm finding interesting things to read around the place, such as this blog, and in particular, a post on 'reframing your lawyer life' and gratitude.  How about that?  Lisa from Of all the liars regularly posts her Daily 5, a list of things for which she's grateful.  It's a good practice and it works.  I first did it on the suggestion of a counsellor, when I was in the depths of depression, and I can still remember the day when I was walking down the street, the sun was shining, and for the first time in months, I felt a moment of joy.  A list of three things, every day, was one of the things that lifted me out of the grey depths.  The first paragraph of that post spoke to me straight away:

One of the keys to happiness, in life and career, is valuing what you have. Everyone in our society forgets this from time to time, but lawyers do seem to have a special knack for it. That’s because we lawyers are trained to deconstruct, to find the flaw, to figure out what is wrong.

'Trained to deconstruct, to find the flaw, to figure out what's wrong.'  Yes, and it's a habit that can spread, until the whole of life is viewed through that prism. 

Tacking

I've been slack with the camera. Again.  How easy it is to get out of the habit of seeing.  The interesting things are still there, but I don't notice them. 

In any event, I've been thinking that this blog doesn't have to be just in pictures - it can be words, too.  Maybe a place to record the tangents I follow each day. 

As it happens, this post was started one Thursday afternoon. In between little grizzly work tasks, I started to write about how I want to use the blog differently.  Two days later... here I am, late on a Saturday, pondering the state of things.  And wondering, why did I pick that title for this post?  Oh, I remember - I was thinking about how yachts tack - I think this describes their change in direction.  Better check that... in my new two volume Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.  That's got to be worth a picture, right? Maybe when there's some sunshine I'll get around to it.

Hopefully, this won't be the last reference to the lovely, lovely dictionary that's come to take up residence here.   How I've longed for one of these. Nearly bought one full price a few years ago. Imagine my delight when I saw it on special (nearly half price) at one of my favourite bookshops, Readings.  Oh yes, my lovely, you shall be mine!  And with CD-ROM.  I can take the CD to work - the OED is the best reference for definitions in legal matters.  Though I think Australian courts also allow reference to the Macquarie, our homegrown dictionary.

Anyway, to tack, intransitive verb, the 7th definition of 9, means "Alter a sailing ship's course by turning the head to the wind and across it, so as to bring the wind on the opposite side of the vessel".  Ideal.  That's what I meant.  One of the other meanings would have been just as useful - attaching a thing to another. Attaching words to pictures.  Or words to a blog that had been, albeit in its infancy, mainly pictures.  Should have known it wouldn't take me long to start talking.

One reason I want to write on the blog, is to link to things I find interesting - not just cute, amusing things, but things that stand out, or fit in, as I womble along.  It's hard to keep a good record of these, without adding to my hopelessly overgrown favourites lists on my work and home PCs, or printing out articles I may never read again.  And Facebook just doesn't cut it as an archive of personal wanderings and wonderings.

I'm thinking at the moment about what I do, what I might want to do differently, how on earth I might get there, if I can sort out what it is that I want to do...  I've pondered this on and off for a long time.  But obviously more off than on, coz I'm more or less still there, thinking, but not changing.  Sure, I've moved around a bit, got a postgraduate qualification, kept the home fires burning.  And yet, still this dissatisfaction.  For some reason, perhaps just the passage of time, age, accumulated disappointments, it feels more serious this time.  It's harder to propel myself out of bed every day.  What's missing seems to have expanded - there's a bigger hole than ever.  Who knows what comes next?   It's time to think about 'it' again. 

In the same way that it's said, if you buy or want to buy a particular make or model of car, you'll see cars of that kind everywhere.  Well, I'm seeing stuff about change, transition, movement, discovery, and doing what you love.  Maybe it's part of the human condition, this feeling of restlessness, that there must be something more.  There may be other strands of this in my case - being a Christian, for starters. 

So, here's two to read and think about.  Unlike more organised, experienced bloggers, I think I'll post before I've really thought about things.  We'll see how that goes!

• Steve Jobs' speech at  Stanford University graduation ceremony.  I like it.  Simple, but effective.  Perhaps some would want a more intellectual speech.  Me, I prefer simple and inspiring.
• The book I bought at Readings, when I had to take dictionary no.1 back (it was only the 5th edition - in a 6th edition box - couldn't bear the idea of losing a few years' worth of words!). Thomas Moore's A Life at Work.  I've linked to the transcript of an interview with Moore.  I'll report back when I've finished the book - my criteria for material on this topic is whether it moves me on.

Finally.  A question, or two.  Mick Jagger.  I know I wasn't born when he was big with the Stones. But really. what  were women thinking?  What is attractive about this man?  Then again, I never did like seedy types.  Here's Mick and the lads, with You Can't Always Get What You Want.  Preach it, brother.

Is that a good place to finish?  That's a rhetorical question

Miscellany

Where have you beeeen?

No one says that quite like Lady Catherine de Bourgh in the 1995 Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice.  Sigh.  Where have I been?  Hanging around.  Forgetting the camera.

A creek near home.  I don't explore this place nearly enough, but am glad to have a new friend who likes to walk this way, so I get to see it much more often now.  It's generally a very relaxing place to be, except for when cyclists want to use it as a speed way.  Then I get cross.  Which spoils the walk. 

Some lovely ducks call this creek home.  They are the lucky ones.  I'm ashamed and distressed to say it's duck hunting season here, from March 19 to June 13.  I do not understand why sport requires animals to die.  I pray that the ducks (and other wildlife caught in the same areas) will get away safely, and that God will convict those who seem to enjoy this legal slaughter, to change their ways. 

Many ducks have died already. 

God have mercy.

Sunday

Catching up!

The countryside on a sunny Autumn day.

Wind in the trees.

A vegetarian BBQ.

Old and new friends.

Reason to Wake.

Friday

Ah, a few days behind. 

A spontaneous walk in the park near work.  Whenever I spend time here, I wonder why I don't visit more often.

It's Autumn.  The colours are wonderful.  There is life here.

It's been very busy, but not terribly colourful or beautiful in Reason To Wake land lately.  However, a constant source of joy and love in life is the resident pride.  Here's two of them.

And some so-so street poetry (according to RTW's poetry consultant), but I like the idea - old style dynotape applied to the brick wall between one shop and another on a main thoroughfare.

melbourne poetry project

Wednesday

Catwoman

Street art - real cards stuck on the wall and the floor

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then,

and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal. 5:1

Beauty in unexpected places.  I'm not sure what that is hanging from the beads. 

But I like the idea of inspiration to prayer in this unlikely place.

Monday's beauty - photographed today - a lovely pink vespa on which to ride away. 

I'd like to do that right now.

Oliver, a labradoodle I met in the park while photographing palm trees.

I suspect Ol comes from a puppy factory, given the mix of breeds. They are horrible, ghastly places for dogs, run purely for profit, with no regard for the dogs (and cats, and rabbits, etc etc) imprisoned there.  I'm glad that it looks like Ol has a nice life.  Hope our government soon bans puppy factories. 

Animals deserve better.

Imagining sitting on this balcony, above the noise and hurry of the world, after a morning attending to correspondence, and before an afternoon nap.  Sigh.

For the person who has everything...

Tokuya

many beautiful Japanese goods you didn't even know you needed.

A cultural excursion. 

Susan Robey at Craft Victoria

Monday, early evening. 

Sun, blue sky and gorgeous green leaves.  I love this city.

to sleep and to wake

Monday, sun going down, time to go home. 

Today was the space between waking too soon and sleeping.

Tuesday - the best vegetarian mee goreng in town. 



Mister Nice Guy Vegan Cupcakes

One sweet dog's joy - a sunny park at lunchtime

Dusty cars aren't always the best place to look for advice,
but this one might be on to something.